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Blue Water Planet Shark Dive 11/6/11
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The Story of Sharm – Ave It
First of many thanks need to be said for Colin he was our Leader, organised it all and had to put up with the shit that came his way when told there were only 27 places on the plane when in fact he had booked 30.
Mr Gold Bullion Man Graham, decided he would pull out, apparently his gold cases would be over the weight allowed for the plane, leaving Colin to find two fools willing volunteers to travel round half of Europe instead of being on the main flight – thanks to Little John and Rose for stepping up to the plate.
So Sunday morning came, we arrived in our busloads and checked in, learning early on that there was a slight delay of 1.5 hours. A few of us sensing it could be a long day took on some substance, others went straight to the bar. Now remember its 9 O’clock in the morning and Jude was already on her second glass of wine. Come flight time Jude though it was kicking out time at the pub – luckily we put a pair of sun glasses on her and shepherded on to the plane without the trolley dollies knowing she was legless.
The flight was un-eventful; most people got to see Indian Jones while Dale and Lee watched some chick flick. The captain announced that the time in Egypt was two hours ahead of UK time – so we all changed our watches – you know to fit in with the locals.
That night we met at 7.30pm in the hotel bar, a tradition that would happen each evening. Another tradition was to all go our separate ways as we all searched for food and drink. On the first night a few of us noticed that the time was in fact 1 hour ahead of the UK, so we reset out watches, an extra hour in bed great.
The next morning we were being picked up by Ocean College early, there was a few keen folk, Steve C, Neil, Graham to name a few who didn’t realise we were 1 hour back and had come down early for breakfast. However despite the extra hour in bed for a lot of us Reece and Ben wanted longer – Reece’s strict army training told him the more sleep the better, so we waited on the coach for a further 20 minutes for them to arrive before we set out for our first days diving.
Now as most of us know, kit can be very personal, but as a club we appeared to adopt a new policy, what mine is yours, and this was taken literally Mike Riley and Steve were swapping wet suits (not advisable considering the stories that Neil has told) and Dave R was picking up any fins he could find. It was clear that Decathlon had run out of the same wet suit as they were all on our boat. But worst was to come Reece couldn’t even get his wet suit on, he thought it was a defect until it was pointed out to him that it was back to front.
A good days diving was had by all, there were a few that felt they needed to empty a 12 litre tank in record time, Lee is a clear winner, he is immensely proud of this.
Tuesday diving was a bit further out and Reece made it on time for the pick up. Some of the club thought it was clever to leave there wet suit hung up, inside out and with out a label, in order they could identify there own, unfortunately, more than one had this thought. Today was also the day that Aidy brought in the club motto – ‘Ave it’ and we were all compelled to shout it before every dive even the instructors had to ave it. We did stop of for a while at Sharks Bay where a few of the club went for a snorkel, little did we know that when Dave R jumped in that we would have to warn the holiday makers on the near by pier that there was a tidal wave on its way.
Wednesday for some was a rest day and with this in mind, the lads went on a bender well Mike, Dale, Steve A, Lee and Ant. After a few bars the night was looking to be dull, until the Thompson’s bar tour arrived at the Tavern to inform us that Hard Rock was a nightclub and the place to be – well if it’s the place to be Mike had to be there, the others followed as well. Ant was the first to drop, sent home in a taxi, Mike and Steve left at 3am and Dale and Lee managed to the very end. Steve to this day doesn’t know how he got grazed knees, although eyewitnesses swear they saw someone scaling some rocks on his way home.
As you can imagine, Wednesday for me anyway was a wash out, stayed at the pool all day – Lee, by just sitting at the pool bar was offered a threesome by two foreigners, he declined as they were both male. Dale’s hangover was very apparent, as he fell of the water seat by the pool bar. Apparently we had arranged to go to the Water park on the Wednesday, Ant decided to meet us there, none of us managed to make it but Ant spent a couple of hours on the slides waiting for us.
Thursday the club went their separate ways and split onto two boats, it was an early start for the Dunraven group, Reece and Ben wasn’t with this group so they got away on time. The second group went to Ras Mohammed where Mike Riley was living his worst nightmare; he couldn’t get to the fridge due to his weight or more to the point the size of his belly. Now this was a concern for one of the guides who was clearly dehydrated and required sustenance. There was only one way this could be resolved and Reece kindly lifted her over Mike and dumped her in the fridge – amazingly, being a woman, she took offence by this and quickly left to get her Big boyfriend (another guide) to give the Chadsac a good ticking off. Now when the boyfriend appeared, he looked round at the group and said what had happened wasn’t funny and asked who did it – “Me” booms Reece, “O right” said the guide “don’t let it happen again and if you need me I will be hiding down below” he was never seen again.
Now there was a lot of fish spotted, as you can imagine on a diving trip, would be a crap trip if we didn’t see any. Some of the major sighting included a Dummy Fish spotted by Aidy (someone had clearly spat it out), Gorilla Fish spotted by various members and some lucky divers spotted Hammerheads – although there is no proof of this. A lot of us spotted Dolphins, especially in the early morning, but despite many trips to the shore by Justine, she still never saw these fantastic creatures – should we have told her it was in the afternoon they were out?
The group going to Dunraven, had to rely on Ant for the entertainment, having bought a camera in the local dive shop which had a casing which could go to a depth of 30m, he proceeded to take it to 35m on the first dive – well done Ant, his watery pictures look great. On the way home from both trips we all met back up on the bus and who can forget the lovely kiss that was blown to John Bardsley on the way back from a male Egyptian cyclist. Now you may wonder if this is relevant, but this was the first sign of a romance on the Holiday, better was to come as Paul found time to start texting his beloved.
Friday was an early start for those going to the Thistlegorm Dive and despite his army training, telephone alarms, personal calls from reception, both Ben and Reece were still 20 minutes late. The journey out was to take over 3 hours so everyone got comfy on the boat and proceeded to drift of to sleep, however, Ant decided to see if he could lure some Humpback Whales to the boat with his unique snore, so the rest of us watched to see if this would worked.
On arrival at the Thistlegorm site (Graham H did I tell you we dived the Thistlegorm), there was a buzz of excitement, we were all budded up with the more experienced being paired with the less experienced. The call of Ave it was heard across the waters even from the guides and of we went. However, no sooner had the first group gone in, there was a stir on the drop line, people getting pushed of as a diver decided to return, Kelpie had forgot to put his Dive Computer on and take his Camera – that’s experience for you.
This wasn’t the only experienced diver who make a small error, Reece being use to the BSAC way of signalling signalled that he had 60 bar left after only 20 minutes of diving – so everyone up, when on board Reece was a bit bewildered as to why they camp up so soon, when he was told he signalled 60 bar, he said no, it was a 110 bar – o well these signals can be a bit misleading.
Meanwhile on the other dive boat the older and more experienced generation – Mike R, Aidy, Steve B and Colin were getting a bit fed up with there Guide. The guide wanted the party to see the entire reef at a Turtles pace. Whilst the four musketeers wanted to see everything at a more speedy pace so they over took the guide on several occasions. This upset the guide (this was a different guide that from the one they upset yesterday) and he gave the 4 musketeers a good bollocking, they all took it well and did not take the piss out of him for the rest of the trip.
So that was the diving done, some did four days, some three, Graham Moore came out on top with 11 dives in five days, I wonder if it was because he was sharing with Ant that he felt the need to get out everyday.
Continuing with the holiday relationship between Paul and a now unknown text partner, arrangements for a rendezvous were being made when he got home, who with, or what with was still unclear but he was booking a few extra days holidays once he got back so he could enjoy the action, company.
So it became Saturday and the penultimate day of the holiday, you would think with no diving that the day would be spent relaxing and topping up sun tans, not that Janice, Jude or Ant needed to, they were already burnt. But the day provided opportunity for football fans across to club to join together in harmony and support their teams as they battled against adversity.
However, to start with some of the lads and remarkably Ben (he had cut the cord for a couple of hours) went of to the Water Park, Ant showed us round as he had been there before and the sultry tones of ‘Ave It’ were heard as we travelled down the death defying slides.
Then to the pub for the football Man U v Scouse scum (apologies to any Liverpool Fans – Not) – we lost, enough said. Then onto the richest team in the world against the Chelsea scum, and yes City lost as well, nothing to it but to drink and have a race. To this day I fully believe I was tripped, after Ant said he was the fastest man on earth (well it sounded like that may have been a different word beginning with F) both I and Steve A disputed this. In front of a large crowd of people, the race began, I quickly was tripped and Steve went on to win, proving Ant was not the fastest and I was pissed as the fall never hurt.
The final evening, was a quiet one, everyone went for a meal and everyone went for a few drinks and then everyone went to bed. Or so I thought, rumours the next day which were confirmed by the hotel CCTV said that there had been naked people in the pool. Who could this have been? Well it was Steve (Kelpie) and Christine enjoying their last night, bless.
So to the last day, we all gathered in the lobby with our packed bags, some had spent the morning sun bathing, some had sat in front of the hotels CCTV recording. But it was nearly time to go, a group picture was taken outside the hotel and the coach arrived to pick up two people, it wasn’t our coach but we didn’t half give the rep a hard time. The Holiday romance had come to a climax as it was revealed that Steve R was the mystery texter, Paul was delighted, and the smile on his face was a picture. As for Steve, he was concerned that Paul was not worried that he was the romance.
The flight wasn’t delayed, much to Jude’s disgust, less time to drink and the flight was uneventful apart from the fact we couldn’t watch any films. So we landed and went our separate ways home.
I am sure there are things I have missed, please feel free to let me know, but I hope I have captured the main events – Malta next year, apparently so some advice
• Get a Wet Suit with your name in
• Put sun cream on, the sun can burn (Ant)
• Don’t fall asleep in the Sun (Colin, Jude, Janice)
• Be independent
• Don’t swim naked near CCTV
• Leave a tip for your maid/Man if you want to see pretty flowers
• Bring an Alarm Clock
• Check the time
• Finally – Ave it
Mike D
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#1 |
on August 01 2009 17:47:04
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ben